afi_davey_baby's Xanga

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 04:05:28 GMT

AMANDA CALLED MEEEEE!! that made my day.. no that made my week. Im sooooooooo fucking happy that shes doing good. I felt like such a bitch leaving without saying bye or thanks for the fucking awesome bear with a chair she made me! [its soo pretty]!

Ok......... but now *SCREEEEEEAAMMMM* i feel so traped.. my mind went blank. I dont want to go to school i havnt been to a full day in four weeks. Im stuck and i have nobody to talk to. nobody that actually cares - like deep down inside cares. I have nothing to do. im terrified for my future... im scared of tomarow.. god theres so many goddamn long years i have to go till i can die naturally. '

Guess what.. i heard someone talking about nails and treatment and weird stuff like steering wheels. i fucking scare myself. no one was there. i was home alone...

Oh god, and then that day when i woke up at 2 and was cussing out that spider.. that made me feel better though. I was pretending that the spider was my ex and i told him everything.... EVERYTHING!

hehe tony is singing like a girly. that cheered me up.......... for a breif moment. Im on so many god damn meds, i should be frolicking in the magical purple cotton candy clouds right now.. but im here and i dont want to be. i dont want to be at my moms. dont want to be at my dads. i dont even want to go to vegas. im so exhausted.. physically and mentally. i give up.. but i just cant stay but i cant leave either............

im........................................................................... i dont know.. about to be bitched at by my mother for whatever it is allens blaming on me for today.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 10:49:13 GMT

im so goddamn drumk. sam is asleeping and i cant slepe. i hit my leg ow bye

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 11:56:14 GMT

im sad. dont want to go.. dont make me go. i wont.

im goin to miss everyone so bad. ill be in hell and everyone will forget. i may be gone for years, you never know this shit. i hate it already. i dont want to go. i dont want people to care, its stupid. i just dont wanna go..

oh and wow, aldan suddenly cares about me. isnt that some special shit..

.... anyways. i had my last day out with sarah and samanfer, went to some soccer games.. got some pictures and.... oh we went and baught some binkies and flamigoes and all the fabulous shit you can imagine. we had a lot of fun today.. now ima be lost not knowing when ill be able to have fun with my friends again. i dont want to go. but life sucks and then you go places and stuff....... oo im out of it. its like 3 in the morning but i dont want to sleep.. tomarows a scarrybear ass day.

but im guna cause i can, and im just cafine-free like that so byebye and ima miss you

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 02:15:07 GMT

Heloooo! ..

yesterday was aldans birthday so we all went out to CHINESE! i only drank tea, but hey it was some pretty damn good tea.. i miss aldan.

.........i have lots of blackmail pictures of him. hehe

im in basketball. i suck at it. i mean, i REALY suck at it. ill probably swicth out though. i had to go to math tutorial today and sarah smushed a sandwich.. ummm.. i fell down the stairs. allen made me play a video game. and i danced in the churches of micronesia.

i spent the night at satans <---- I didnt even mean to write that, i means *sarah! all weekend

.. yep byebye

Friday, January 21, 2005

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 02:09:47 GMT

Im...

....So

...Alone

Kara and my stevio are gone.. gone gone gone. i fuckin hate alaska. or.. i prefer las vegas. but its all good cause my daddy says if i get good grades i can move there and live with kara next year. cause i cant wait another few years to go to unlv.

kara wrote me the bestest note in the fork. oh and she gets to meet paul walker next month. thats kick ass because he is gorgeous. and then... karls getting married so when i see him im going to kick him in teh balls.

We all got together and played pool yesterday. i suck, but i won cause kara sucks more. aldan even went. i lost to him though, ofcorse.

I miss them soooo much. life is becoming shit.. now i get to go back to getting fucked up 24/7 and being a extreem bitch..

im being suspended from school for a few days, and i missed finals today so i could go to the airport, which isnt too good. Haleys mad at me cause i made fun WITH her.. ok OF her.. but sarah did it too, we were just having fun. i made a hell of fun of myself too.. she takes shit too seriously.. and she takes a lot of my food.. too.

Well............................. isnt this fun...... i need to........... go to vegas, now. i miss it there. i miss karol and rylee, and bubbah.. i miss lori, and dave and chet and even dustin and jordan.... maybe not so much dustin... i miss walking to karols and jumping in her pool. i miss madolyn. i miss being able to go to the mall in your swim suit.. and gettin up on bubbly in the limmos. i miss it soo much. you dont need to give a shit what anyone thinks there. and any place like that, thats where i wana be.

oh but sarahs coming to vegas with me in july!! its going to be awesome. i wonder if manfer can come?.. sammy do you want to? like three insane barbies in vegas. that could be dangerous. well.. anyways i have to go to my mums house soon.

oh and by the way, i am NOT 'warming up' to allen. ive come to beleive hes homosexual...... bye

Monday, January 03, 2005

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 01:51:44 GMT

Kara and Steve have been here. everythings been awesome, i had a great new years but i woke up with a killerhang over and i was gunna die.

Oh ya.. then yesterday, i was driving it was just me and kara and we were going to michelles to see the baby and i crashed into the ditch.. my dad was pissed off, and kara was all "..oh... look stef, we crashed..." she was high on muscle relaxers.

and thennnnn today i went shopping and i feel like im sick now. And Will, i love you cutie, but fuck you.. i dont feel good now. steve is walking around "damnit damnit damnit damnit" and karas pissed off at me cause when they go back to vegas, he'll be like, "hey grammy.. TESTICALS TESTICALS TESTICALS!" aw i am not goin to be able to get up tomarow morning, i forgot about school, ive been going to bed at 4 every day.. this is guna be interesting

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 13:40:34 GMT

well.. i spent the night at michelles. brittany came over. haha we had shots o vadka and watched alice in wonderland lol. i swear brittany is on crack, shes never seen that movie.. that fucking fabulous movie.. plus.. she a bit fucked up in the head too.. ( i kiiiid i kidd lol) god i was so fucking tired, but i couldnt get to sleep so i watched 8475254200000 movies and i finally passed on the couch

oooh and i did sum'n to my hair.. again. i loooove it, but im not going to say..

know whats funny, my mom is trying to hook me up with some 17 yr old.. which is fine with me and all. lol but its kind of odd.. i forgot who i was on the phone with yesterday, but i found it hilarious.. she was like "fuck fuck fuck, fucking, shit, shitty, damnit!!"... i realy did forget who it was, but i dont remember them ever using such.. words?.. it was funny. wow.. and you know, everything i say is SO useless haha.. okay nobody cares but i like to talk to my self anyways

OKAYY.. im going to try and hang out with everyone atleast once before school so call me you pimps

Monday, December 20, 2004

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:13:50 GMT

Kara and my STEVIO!!!! come in 4 DAYS! i cant wait. i miss them so much. i miss las vegas so goddamn much. when i get out of school im moving there. im going to unlv!! shit.. when youre in vegas, you just feel like everything is perfect, its just... refreshing... thats why i miss it. im going back this summer ofcorse, and maybe spring break, but i with i could go NOW. my life is pissing me off, and im getting to the point where im starting to feel bad again. finally, right when i thought i could live again. hah its pathetic if you think about it. but its going to be so much better when my homeslices get here.

oh i just remembered that one night, in vegas, when we went down the strip in our limo, that was sooo much fun. make it look like your drinking wine, and i wore that extremely showy dress... skirt..thing. guys, guys in vegas are evrywhere, and there are so many nasty girls, so.. ya with the guys, its fun. Its actaully realy funny though, its like youre a movie star, i remember there was this time me and kara had the windows down and our glasses on, and there was this convertible with these 3 hot guys, and when our driver stoped at the lights, they would follow us, and they were like "hey come on where are you girls going?" we werent actualy going to meet them there, but we were like, we'll be at the bellagio in 30 mins. it was fun as hell.. THAT is why i miss vegas, cause you can be a dumbass. and being a dumbass.... is.. releiving.

vegas guys are gorgeous too... especially the guy who was there when i peirced my eyebrow, i kind of miss him. he was a fucking romeo.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 23:29:03 GMT

Today.. today has been odd. im fucking angry, oh wait, im happy, oh... okay i feel like crying.. im anoyed.. i feel sick, im laughing my ass off. im thinking of dumb things with britany and lizz like SNAKE TESTIE DISORDER... and then i cant stop smiling. i might of been high or sum'n... but all i know is that today so far, has been confusing..

MYSTERIOUS OBLIVIOUS LEANING ERECT CRUNCHING UNBALANCED LINEAR ENDROCREAM SPECIMEN...

britany says shes guna turn me in cause i 'raped a hippo'.. i did not. and she said.. "NoOooo!! Now you gots H.I.P.!!!" i go "ooooohhh whassat??" "hippo internal PELVIC dun dun!!!!!" i dont even know what that is.. but we laughed our asses off and cynthia got pissed.

You know what i HATE.. okay, ive got two tihngs.

1. how now.. people use the word 'love' in a general way.. people will yell across the halls "oh i love you gurl!"... NUH UH NO YOU DONT... can you say that you actualy LOVE someone whos just an aquantence?? ya theres love at first sight, but damnit... you dont say "i LOVE you" when someone gives you a dollor.. that is fucked up. cause now.. were all screwed over. lots of people may not even experience true love.. you know.. like what everybody deserves. NOW because of these fucking idiots who say that all the time.. its easier for people to beleive someone when they say "i love you' cause they might not even KNOW what love is.. they might think thats what it is. but......... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg.. you know what i mean.. i hate that so much.

2. umm.. yes iforgot the second one, but another thing i do hate, is people who give others FALSE HOPE.. like.. ummmmmm.... hmmm m... BRANDON for instance.. lets say, he told me.... "ill call you later.." right after he said we should break up... WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO nooo you wont call me later so id apreciate it if you didnt say that you would. when you tell people things, in most cases, they beleive it.. but realy, if you KNOW that your never guna call me again.. ever... dont say shit like that.. that is so fucked up. too easy to lie to?

god humanity is so FUCKED up. i wanna cry. my stupid horoscope said i would fall in love today.. where is he?...... is he at FRED MeYERS?? cause thats the only place i have left to go today. am i guna walk into my eye docter, and BOOM* theres some kid, oh, *check* your in love.. i wanna fall in love so badly. i just want what i had with brandon, but better, since he obviously didnt mean a fucking thing he said.. WHY am i bringing up brandon?? ARRHGGGHFDGHfhjklgfj[ds f ggggooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddd.

PEOPLE SUCK

okay i need to shut up.. hah this is what my counseling is for BYEE

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 23:08:13 GMT

IM CURED IM CURED and im a HAPPY HAPPY KID!!!

I feel like a genious. anyways.. samme spent the nite and we snuck in to the dance thing for 10 minutes and it sucked so we went back to my house and had sum stuff! haha and then.. ummm, we were being idiots..

this morning i wope up so.. weird. it was like 2 30 in the morning and i was on the couch and *BOOM* alen was there, and he was all.. "stefanie go to bed or something" and then i wope up again and my dad called and i walked upstaris and i triped and scraped my knee, then i went down the stairs and i triped ALL the way down then and hit my head on the wall.. it hurt. and now im over at muh daddys house with my foxxie! BYE